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Love Yourself

Self love is important! Self love is defined as regard for one's own well-being and happiness.

What this world needs is more people that are willing to love themselves more and in a much healthier way. Here are 4 things to implement in your life to help you to be on your way to doing just that:

1. Overcome negative beliefs that you've picked up over the years about yourself. 

2. Avoid perfectionism because it is impossible. 

3. Get rid of that negative filter/view of life and yourself. 

4. NEVER call yourself names that do not represent love, peace and joy.

If you do these four things, you are well on your way to loving yourself. You deserve the love that you pour into everybody else. Give yourself that. If you are already doing these things, then bravo to you. Share them with your friends and loved ones. 💜💜💜

Conquering Numbers VLog

Let's continue on this journey y'all! Catch the newest Vlog on this quest to say yes. Let's talk about conquering this fear of numbers. One particular fear to be exact. Click the linki below to watch! Subscribe, Thumbs Up, Comment and Share!

https://youtu.be/ezSWduLGJG8

My Quest To Say Yes Vlog!

I am on a journey to say yes to the things that scare me in life and that I usually say no to. Fear is paralyzing us as a people and we have to live unfearful or we will stay stuck going no where. I refuse to be stuck, so moving forward I am saying YES to the things that I would usually say no to in order to break the stronghold and loosen the chains. Will you join me?...............
Click the link below to watch! Subscribe, Thumbs Up, Comment and Share!

https://youtu.be/PWYJAczfEJk

Things Will Work In My Favor 💜💜💜

     This morning, as I watched a video of a young man singing these very words out of trying to pull himself out of a depressing place (a pit) because he woke up feeling like he wasn't doing his part to add value to this world, I sat and thought "How many of us are actually in this same place but suffering and crying out in silence?" How many of us have sat and cried because we felt, or feel, that we just didn't have what it takes to be a contributor to society? How many people have taken their own lives because they felt worthless, useless and that the world would be a better place without them? Well I just want to encourage you this morning that " THINGS WILL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR. YOU JUST GOTTA BELIEVE". Life is everything that we make it. It is up when we are up. It is down when we are down. But we have to continue to believe that GOD is moving on our behalf and that He is working it out just for us at all times. You are never useless. You are never worthless. You are never not necessary. You add plenty value to this world and this world would not be a better place if you weren't in it. Whatever situation you may be facing at this moment, don't turn your back to it and run. Face it and tell it with power in your voice and heart that "THINGS WILL WORK IN MY FAVOR! I BELIEVE IT!" GOD bless this young man and every one who may be having a moment where we have to pull ourselves out of the pit that we've placed ourselves in. But please remember, it is a moment and moment's pass. Do not make permanent decisions based off of temporary feelings. This too shall pass. It has to. Have a GREAT and favor working day today. Just believe. 💜
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Do you or another woman you know of have an #AMAZING accomplishment that the world should be celebrating? Maybe they #Graduated? Wrote a #book? Gave #birth? A #birthday? Started or run a #business? Received a #promotion? Got #engaged or #married? Etc. Let #AliveAndWorthy know! Inbox us a photo of the individual along with their accomplishment and let us celebrate them along with you because that's what we do! 💜💜💜
#CelebratingWomen #CelebratingLife  #Empowerment #Encouragement #Enlightenment #Motivation #Support #SupportingWomen #GirlPower

I'll Clap For Me

Too many times we are looking around to see who is clapping for us because we feel that need to be validated by others. Then when we notice the two or three that isn't clapping, we get down and out negating the 20 or 30 that are. Why? 2 reasons.
1.)  Because no matter how much positivity is in the room, negativity always seem to drown out the noise positivity makes.
2.) We are inherently trained to focus on the negativity.
My question is, what would happen if we began to clap like a crazy woman for ourselves? I'll tell you what would happen. If we become so enamored with clapping for ourselves, we wouldn't care or have to time to look around to see who else is or is not clapping. It wouldn't even matter because clapping would keep your head in a forward position and it's hard to look around while doing it. Try it. Began clapping like crazy for yourself and see how hard it is to look around at the same time without falling, stumbling or hurting your neck. Start today being your own cheerleader. Tooting your own horn. Patting yourself on the back. Clapping for your darn self because no one will support you like you will. But the crazy thing is, when people see you clapping and cheering for yourself, they will begin to jump on board with you. But start a clap epidemic for yourself and be unapologetic about it. You deserve to be celebrated but it starts and ends with you. And if you're the only one at your celebration, at least you won't have to worry about nobody coming in and bringing your mood down. 💜💜💜 L.

Better

Happy Friday y'all! Excuse my Southerness. Lol. I just wanted to talk to you this morning about how 99% of us continually talk about wanting better, doing better and being better. If you're perfect and part of the 1% then you know of someone who talks about wanting better, doing better and being better then. So take these tidbits to them. But what we fail to realize is that better begins solely with us. We have the power within us to create the life that we want but we, as humans, always fail to tap in because we can't tangibly see it and we constantly try to rationalize it. But everything in this world isn't tangible and can't be rationalized so stop it. Better requires walking in faith and stepping outside of your comfy box of mundane and repetitious normalcy. Believing in yourself that you can do it and you deserve it. Better, often times, require going in the opposite direction of what you've been doing for the last ump teen years of your life. Shoot, if it just fell from the sky, we'd all be better but that's not going to happen my friend so you have to be willing to do the work and you can. So let's talk about the work. It's not that hard actually. Start with writing down goals that you feel will help you to be the better you that you desire to be. Then add objectives to each goal. Then add realistic (because you know you lol) deadline dates to each objective. Then meet the deadlines one by one and you're well on your way to Better. You can do it. But the crazy thing is, once you start meeting one then another, it sort of becomes addictive. You become addicted to checking stuff off of your list and getting stuff done. Then before you know it BAM, better. But it starts by taking the first step. The hardest step is the first step I guarantee. It gets easier after that. Trust me, I know. If I can do this, you definitely can do it too and I'm rooting for you. You don't need a whole cheer squad behind you. All I needed was one person because waiting for a whole cheer squad was going to have me die waiting. But just take the first step. Better is waiting just for you. So start moving that that direction.  XOXO, L. 💜💜💜
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#AliveandWorthy #Better #Motivation #Encouragement #Empowerment

Loving Yourself Is Not An Option!

     "What kind of Pastor has all those piercings and tattoos?" ............ (insert blank stare)......... ME! And I LOVE it!!!
     So many people that I have run across, and my past self too, have moments (some that last way more than others) where they feel down or bad about themselves. Whether it stem from being put down so much by those around them or just never being built up in the area of them loving themself. Either way it go, we have to learn that loving ourself is not an option. I can admit that I was one who was not a lover of myself due to both of the reasons that I listed above. My mother did her best to try and build me up but she had her own struggles. And other kids at school were...... well they were kids and we know how kids can be. But as a 35 year old adult, I've gotten to a point where I have become so tired of allowing others people's opinions to dictate how I feel about me. And I hope that you have too.
     Listen up when I say this................. Are you listening? Loving you is not an option. Do you hear me. No one, except GOD, should love you more than you do. Now I'm not saying to be conceited. Conceit is not GOD like. But confidence is. The way that you love yourself is your teaching tool to others on how they should love you. And you should accept no less. If you don't love yourself, then people will give you the love that they think you deserve. And just a heads up, 95% of people will definetly undervalue and depreciate you. So do yourself a favor, love you. It's not an option.

Unapologetic is me, L.

A Prayer For Focus

“…but the people who know their God will display strength and take action” (Daniel 11:32).

 “Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be made full.” (John 16:24)

My Father GOD in Heaven,

I thank You for this day and for all that You have done for me thus far. I come to you in this moment as humbly as I possibly can seeking Your help. Lord, I openly confess that I find that I am sometimes easily distracted by the happenings and doings of life and by people. When things happen around me that concerns people I love, I find myself gravitating to the happenings to see if I can help or fix that instead of staying on task with the things that You have called me to. Your word says that I can ask anything of You and that if I believe it I shall receive it. So I am asking you oh Lord to help me discern between good and bad distractions and to remove the distractions in my life that were designed to take me off of my assignment. Whether it be situations, circumstances, things or people GOD, I ask that You remove them far from my life immediately in the mighty name of Jesus. 

Please forgive me for being so easily distracted and gird me with Your grace and strength so that I can concentrate fully on the things that You have set before me. Without Your help I cannot achieve any success Lord! So help me to overcome all my weaknesses and strengthen my mind. Take full control of my wandering thoughts and give me Your wisdom and knowledge and let me be a blessing to those that You have called me to and to my family. I thank You in advance for answering my prayer. In Jesus' matchless name I pray, Amen.

Unapologetic is me, L. 

The Simple Joy of Purging

For some time now, I have been having this feeling of carrying around a great deal of unwanted, unneeded and unnecessary weight. So starting yesterday, I decided to start releasing some of the weight. I have been on a purge binge ever since I made up my mind that I wanted to free my mind, my spirit, my soul and my heart. And I started with Facebook. Facebook? You say. Yes Facebook. Let me tell you what I mean. We all are a people who take our phone with us EVERYWHERE we go. To work, to church, to the bathroom, to bed, our kids soccer game.... everywhere. And we are constantly looking at it checking to see who posted what on Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, etc. The list just goes on and on. For some of us, checking our phone while driving has almost, if not has, caused us to get into fender benders.......

Well, I only use my Facebook and every so often Instagram. But the things that I run across are sometimes so vile, violent and downright cruel. People video taping things they deem funny but are often times humiliating to others and mean. Meme's constantly mocking others of their deformities or mental instabilities. It's just down right horrible. But the people that post these things that we see are the friends that we choose to hit that friend button to accept a sent friend invitation or that we decided to send a friend request too, I just am growing tired of it. I do love the Spiritual postings that tend to help me in my moments of downness, but you have to filter through the filth and cruelty to get to them. So, I decided to do some purging. Purging those "friends" that constantly post these post that go against everything that I believe in and stand for. And you know what, it actually felt good!!! In my Facebook purge, I went from 1,291 friends to 822! And I still have some ways to go!!!

"Eliminate what doesn't help you evolve". When I saw this post as I was browsing the internet, a lightbulb turned on for me. It just made so much sense to me!!! I am a Pastor, who is married, 34 years old and have 3 children. That alone is a great deal. I don't need added craziness and foolishness on my plate. So, I am releasing the weight, dead weight. By purging all the things in my life that is not adding to my life. I wanted to delete my whole facebook page, but realized that the social media is a huge way of reaching the masses in our area. it is a huge marketing tool so I somewhat have to keep it, but I can definitely cut back on what and who I interact with. Did I mention that it felt good? But this is only the beginning. I plan to purge my Facebook some more, my Instagram, my phone, my cable, my closet, my home, my office, everything. If purging my Facebook alone felt that good, I can only imagine how purging the rest of my life would feel. I have never been so excited to let people and things go. But to be honest, a great deal of that stuff we can absolutely live without. It takes so much of our attention away that we can not even focus on the things that truly matter in our life like our family, our jobs even GOD in a lot of instances. So this stuff has definitely got to go for me. So my question to you is will you join me in purging? Will you join me in simplifying life and bringing our attention and focus back to those things that truly matter? I hope you will. Just start with Facebook. If you can delete it all together, go for it. But make a list of things that you can do without, or decrease drastically in numbers. Let's bring our focus and attention back where it needs to be. Okay? Okay. I guarantee you that you will not be disappointed. :) 

Unapologetic is me, L. 

My Absolute Biggest Fear!

     Growing up we create and dream up all of these plans of how our life is to be when we get older. What will be our career, what college we will attend, what age we are going to marry, how our wedding will look, our spouses occupation, what city/state we will live in, how many kids we will have, how much money we are going to make.... Some of us even dream up what kind of animals we will have and what there names will be. We map out our life to the tiniest detail. Some people, very few I imagine, stick to that plan if they are truly locked in and dedicated to the plan. But for the bulk of us, as we grow older, the twist and turns of life tend to drive us in a different direction. I was one of the people that turned out to be on the redirected plan once life began to truly happen to me.
     One thing that just wasn't in my life plan was children. Children just weren't in the plans for me that I can remember. I was supposed to go to the military, find me a husband that could and loved to cook (because I hate it lol) (only because I'm so impatient), travel the world and retire from the military. Then we would continue to travel until we eye called home to be with the Lord. But at the age of 20 life happened. I had my first son. Then at 26 my daughter, then at 28 my 2nd son. So as you can see, my life switched directions from the way that I had planned it as a young girl. But guess what, my kids are an absolute blessing to me. They are smart, loving and funny as all get out. They keep me smiling and have taught me a great deal about forgiveness and how to love without boundaries. They are little angels in human suits to me. Yes they are.
     So, I know your wondering, where does this biggest fear come in. Well, here it is. My biggest fear is the fear the day that my kids will grow up, won't need me anymore and they will move away to start their own lives apart from me. This actually hurts my heart and cuts me to the core everyone I think about it. So what am idoing about that now? I'm glad you asked. My prayer is that my relationship with my children now will always warrant them wantingþneeding mommy close. Not as a crutch, but as a support. Not the "Mommy I'm in trouble with the law help me out" or "I need a baby sitter to go to the club" type support. But the "I need to cry this out in a safe place where I'm not treated as less than because I'm crying buy now that I've cried and gotten some wisdom I can attack the problem head on" or the "I need some strong solid above on this and I need someone I can depend on because there motives are pure and they only want to see me be a better me".......... You feel me? Good.
     I know growing up is inevitable, but growing apart from me doesn't have to be. Everyday that I look at them I see more and more signs of them growing up and being more independent. They don't need me like they did when they were babies in my arms. My oldest is now 13. I'm trying to teach him the things that he will need to know to do in order to run his own house, but everything in me just wants to baby him for the rest of his life. But I know that this is not healthy. I dare not for him to be a liability as an adult, but he's still my baby. All three of them are. The day they move out of my house will probably be the hardest thing in life for me. Harder then recovery from every surgery that I've had. Harder then pushing them all out naturally during their births. I know one day I'm going to have to let go (my fear, uggggghhhhhh). But for now I'll just continue to be there mommy and hold on for as long as I can. So that when the day come (that they say mommy you can let go now) I can say that they are ready and they know mommy is here and always was here for them. It's going to hurt I know, but it has to be done. :( I promise I won't be a smother mother to my adult children. Lol. But I'll always have their back........... unless they break the law. Then they're on their own. Lol but I'm serious.
Unapologetic is me, L.

A Prayer To Walk In Love

   Dear Heavenly and gracious Father,
because You loved me first and I have discovers this love for myself, I am ready and able to love the people that you have placed around me. I pray that my love would increase more and more in knowledge, discernment and understanding. Help me to walk out Ephesians 5:2 in my daily life. To "Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God." Help me to seek You steadily so I am never out of love to give, but constantly filled with an overflow that spills out onto others. Teach me about the beauty of Your sacrifice so I can be encouraged to give of myself and help me to take an interest in others so I can be a more effective servant to You. I pray that I would always remember the Source of my love and give You all the glory. Thank you Lord for loving me the way that you do. Even when I feel that I don't deserve it. I am happy to love others because of Your undieing and never changing Agape love and compassion for me. You deserve my praise and my worship. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Unapologetic is me, L.

I can't?!?! YES YOU CAN!!!

      "I can't" is a tiny phrase that packs more weight in it than five elephants trying to fit on a tiny bathroom scale. It's amazing how so many people use this phrase to describe their abilities and possibilities. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". So when people say I can't it leads me to believe that in that area of their life, that they don't believe or have faith that Christ can or will work through them. While I was praying about this, the Holy Spirit told me that:
"I can't is a limitation set by the enemy to stop you from:
1. Achieving your best you
2. Going to the next level and
3. Walking in abundance and overflow."
      GOD never said any where in His Word that He has limited us and there were only certain things that we could do. He never said that there was a ceiling or a cap on us. So in the instances when an I can't tries to creep on in, we have to truly stand on "greater is He that is in me then he that is in this world" (1 John 4:4). I can't is a spirit that the enemy has conjured in an attempt to hinder us. The enemy's plan is to make this I can't spirit so strong that none of GOD'S children reach the max potential and greatness that He has placed within each and every one of us. His agenda is to continue to fill the graveyards with treasures.
      Only we can change that. How do we do it? By changing the way we think, speak and act. When an I can't thought comes into our mind, we must "take every thought into captivity" (2 Corinthians 10:5). If an I can't so happens to come out of our mouth, we must remember that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21). And also that "whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in Heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in Heaven" (Matthew 18:18, 16:19). So remember that you get the fruit of what you speak but you have the power to cast it down and bind it up if you choose. Key phrase "if you choose".........
      The Holy Spirit also showed me this. That I can't usually come from us comparing ourselves to somebody else or just plain laziness.......... Oh, did I strike a nerve? Well good. Stop comparing yourself to other people. We were not created to be or do just like someone else. GOD created each and every one of us different to accommodate all the differing personalities in this world. So the way that you do it is just fine for the people you are supposed to reach. Do it your way and your way alone. Oh and the laziness...... Yeah. Laziness won't get you anywhere anytime soon. And if you don't come out of it, I can't is just for you. Better yet, the enemy doesn't have to even try with a lazy person. You do the work for him. That's just all I can say about that.
     We have to get out of this I can't mindset. We must not allow this foul and demonic to consume us. We must reduce the punch that it packs by slowly but surely removing it from our vocabulary. From this day forward, constantly say in your Spirit, yes I can. Replace can't with can in your heart, in your mind and in your vocabulary and watch how your life, your confidence, your favor, your influence, watch how it all turns around, God is not the author of confusion and He's definitely not the author of I can't. Yes you can, yes you will and today should be the day that you must.
Unapologetic is me, L.

A Prayer for Joy & Strength

    Father GOD, I lift mine eyes and heart to thee. Help me to live in Your joy and in Your peace. Give me the strength and understanding to resist anxiety, anger, envy, depression, bitterness, hopelessness, loneliness, fear and guilt. Rescue me when “my spirit is overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is distressed” (Psalm 143:4). I refuse to let my life be brought down by evil and negative emotions such as these.

    When I am tempted to give in to them, show me Your Truth. You have said in Your Word that "by our patience we can possess our souls" (Luke 21:19). Give me patience so I can do just that. Help me to keep my ‘heart with all diligence,” for I know that “out of it spring the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:23).

    Help me to share this joy of knowing intimately who Jesus is with all those who You place in my path. I pray that Your love would fill my heart, that Your peace would flood my inner being and that I may overflow with Your joy and hope in believing. Increase my love for others and for You. Instil in my heart the hope of my salvation, and surround me with Your love and joy. Please use me as a channel to minister to others in need.

    Thank You that "the joy of the Lord is our strength and shield" (Nehemiah 8:10) and that You have promised that Your "grace is sufficient" (2 Corinthians 9:12) for all eventualities. Keep my heart fixed on You and instil in my heart joyful disposition so that I may bring comfort and cheer to those around me and be salt and light to those that are facing troubles or difficulties.

    I thank You that I am Your child and You are my Father and sovereign Lord. May my heart rejoice in good times and in bad and may Your abiding  joy and perfect peace find residence in my heart - as I rest in Your love and trust in Your unfailing goodness.

     It is in Jesus name I pray, Amen and Amen.

Unapologetic is me, L. 

#Positivityrocks

     I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS HASHTAG!! Created by moi of course! Positivity is something that we are falling short with in our society. Today everywhere we turn, negativity is being spread and actually condoned as a symbol of power. It's as if to say the more negative you are, the cooler and stronger you are. This is absolutely wrong. It takes nothing to be negative. Being negative is easy, but nobody wants to here that stronger people are positive people. But if you actually thought about it, it reigns true. It takes self control, patience, willingness and whole bunch of other added virtues in order to be positive and remain positive with everything that is going on around us. My choice is to be more positive. I feel better being positive. Being negative weighs down on a person. On ones mind, heart and soul. It takes a lot out of a person to be negative. I read that it takes 17 muscles to smile and 42 to frown. Those numbers alone show how much more difficult it is to be negative over being positive. So why do it? Release the anger, release the hurt, release the control of situations and people that you cannot control. Trying to do these things will only cause you a great deal of stress and strife and anger which will lead to added and unnecessary negativity in your life. So try today being more positive. Start today.
Unapologetic is me, L.  

JUST SMILE

   I read that it takes only 17 muscles to smile. On the flip side, it takes 43 muscles to frown. You utilize more muscles and exert more energy by frowning than you do smiling. That fact alone makes me want to smile as much as I can. So JUST SMILE! Smile as much as you can as often as you can. Smiling makes us look prettiest and confident in ourselves. Not only that, it can help boost others. They say that smiles are contagious. So why not help someone else catch smile fever. We could help make the world a better place one smile at a time. So JUST SMILE.

Forever Grateful

grateful: feeling or appreciation of kindness; thankful    

    In my life time, I have had my fair share of unpleasurable situations. Some I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But going through, coming out and knowing what could have been has led me to a place of pure gratefulness. If I were to sit here and tell you everything that I have been through in my short 34 years of life, we would be here all night. .....literally. Today I can truly say that I am grateful for a few things. I'm grateful for life, GOD's saving grace and a loving and supportive husband just to name a couple. 

    Both Acts 10:34 and Romans 2:11 tell us that GOD is no respecter of person. So what made Him prolong my life, but take my friend Tasha in the 9th grade? Or my friend Olympia 5 yea.rs ago while having a routine day surgery that had been done on millions of people? Or my friend Natasha 3 years ago who killed herself and her unborn baby girl a couple of days before Thanksgiving? 

    I would be lying if I told you that being grateful just came to me. No not at all. I had to learn how to be grateful. At one point I felt that GOD had to be nice and do what He did for others for me. I played on His grace just like a lot of other people in this life. It was not until my good good friends and family members went through things that they didn't come out of along with my own trials that almost took my life. My hubby and I say that some people just get it, and some are extremist and have to learn the hard way. For a minute I was an extremist and boy did GOD let me have it. But by His grace, and with my hubby by my side every step of the way, I finally got it. And now that I got it, I'm never letting it go. I thank GOD for saving and keeping me. I love Him all the more for sparing my life time and time again. Times that I know of and some I don't. But I'm grateful for them all. He deserves glory, honor and praise for what He's done for me. And I make sure to give Him just that and more. I appreciate Him. I appreciate being able to see my kids get older. I appreciate the chance to grow older and wiser with my hubby. To continue to help grow our ministry. I'm thankful for it all. GOD will forever get the glory and I will continue to be grateful to Him and Him alone. No one else deserves the glory but Him.  No one. 

Unapologetic is me, L.

30 Rules for Godly Women

SOOOOO, I was on Facebook and I had a guy friend who re-posted an article called 30 Rules For Godly Women. The person who wrote it, her name was Murphty Emeka Okpala. I don't know the author at all, but as I read these rules, I was like, hmmmmmm this is good and I would love to share it with you. This is a must read and is very good information for any woman who is trying to be that Godly woman. I'm not saying it is the be all end all rules, but it is very helpful, to the point and useful information  in my eyes with soem good biblical backing. I went to college and was always a sucker for cliff notes. Who wouldn't want something dropped right into their lap that could help shape your life for the better...... and somebody else did all the work for you? SO get to reading and tell what you think. Do you agree or disagree. Happy reading and know that, 
Unapologetic is me, L. 

30 RULES FOR GODLY WOMEN

1). Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect.(Prov 15v1)
2). Don't expose your husband's weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you.You are each other's keeper.(Eph 5v12)
3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.(Prov 15v13)
4). Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.
5). Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.(Prov 11v22)
6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.(Gen 2v24)
7). Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.(Eph 5v33)
8). Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.(Deut 3v28)
9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.
10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matterif time before another woman takes over that duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long(even the anointed ones) (SS 7v12)
11). Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom, or an Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.(SS 5v9)
12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.(Prov 31v23)
13). Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.(Eph 4v31)
14). Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.(Prov 12v4)
15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.( 1 Sam25v3)
17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.(Luke 21v16)
18). Never base your love on monetary things.Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19). Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him.Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home. (Gal 6v9)
20). If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. It's always teamwork.(Gal 6v10)
21). Don't be too judgemental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.(Eph 4v29)
22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.(Prov 24v27)(Prov 20v13)
23). Does your husband like a kind of cooked food?, try to change your cooking. No man jokes with food. (Prov 31v14)
24). Never be too demanding to your husband,enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.(Luke 11v3)
25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty. (Prov 31v11)
26). Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.(Prov 22v14)
27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.(Heb 13v4)
28). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.(Prov 22v6)
29). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason. (Prov 31v28)
30). A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife,pray always for your husband and family(1 Thess 5v17)2). 

My New Dwelling Place

     Everything that I have been through in life leads me to exactly where I am in this moment, in love with and in awe of the One who created me. My story, my testimony, all points to a place that says "You are loved, you are worthy and that's just it". I could easily be mad about being molested, raped, beaten, cursed at, lied on, spoken down to, operated on, given bad reports and so many other things. But the bigger picture is that I made it through and I am still standing. It baffles me when people continue to look back  and harbor on what they been through instead of looking around and seeing where they currently stand. Which for most is on the other side physically, but not mentally. That what was meant to break you did not. 

     As I lay in a hospital bed just last week waiting to be operated on, my husband gone on vacation without me but one of my closest companions by my side, it was in his absence that I truly realized how blessed I am. It is crazy how in a supposed dark place one can discover the totality or come to a realization of ones blessings. My realization is that GOD loves me no matter what or who is there or not there, He has my back and that I am covered under His grace. It was in a hospital bed that I truly understood how He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I felt His presence every step of the way holding me up and keeping me cool, calm and collected while my belly being critically operated on for the 3rd time in less than two years. I was more calm then than I have ever been before. It was then that I realized that everything that I had been holding to inside was not worth holding on to anymore. All the hurt, pain, loneliness, feelings of betrayal, rejection, shame, guilt, so on and so forth. She did this, he did that, nobody ever did this for me.......... It was all blocking me from seeing Him. It was truly time to, as they say, let go and let GOD. 

    In this season I am surrounded by love and want to give love, but my wounds and past afflictions only caused me to spit venom and inflict pain while given a falsity of love and care to others in the name of being a stern steward for the LORD. (Just my truth). But I don't desire to do that anymore. I want my legacy to be that I gave selflessly, loved my family unconditionally, ran my businesses flawlessly and that I loved and I loved and when I couldn't, I still tried to love some more and it was genuine. People can spot falseness you know. No matter how much makeup you put on it, the ugly still can be seen. I want to be that Mother/Big Mama that people remember long after she is gone. My husband's good thang too. But the baggage had to be dropped. I have dropped them and incinerated them. And now I feel so much hope and peace. I am not so tense anymore. Some days I was so tense and tight that it was hard to walk. Headaches and joint pain were my closest companions (which are also symptoms of Chron's but my mentality magnified it). They were with me what seems like 24/7 constantly eating, barking and biting. I was a prisoner. But thank GOD that this is no more. I claim and stand in victory. I am an over-comer. I win.

    Yeah, I know that it is going to be a process and that doubt will try to creep in, but to continue to feel the way I feel now is worth going through the process and succeeding. And to think none of this would be if my husband had not left me.................. and went on vacation. (Just want to clarify that. Lol.) I'm grateful and thankful for this new place. My permanent dwelling place.  I think I am going to unpack my bags and stay here. Pain, strife, worry and stress free until the day that I am truly called home. Thank you Lord for every blessing and every lesson. It is to you I give the glory. 

Unapologetic is me, L.

Pragma: Stand in Love

    As long as we live there will always be people in this world who can not, and often times refuse to see past themselves. People who can't see past their wants and stubbornness to lend a helping hand, kind word or even a smile to brighten someone else's day. People who, no matter what is going on in your life, they find any and every reason to turn situations around in their favor and somehow always become a victim. But they will swear up and down that they are not a "victim" and they don't act that way. What do we do with these people? Our flesh would want to turn our backs on them, let them suffer, wallow and fend for themselves. But for some odd reason our hearts just won't let us do such a thing. So what do we do? We can pray which is the normal "Christian" answer. But sometimes prayer isn't enough. Now don't misinterpret me, prayer is always a good thing, absolutely awesome. In prayer is where we can find peace and seek wisdom and understanding. But sometimes we need a little bit more than just prayer because when you come up, that person/people is still there. 
    That's where my term "Stand in Love" comes in to play. In my research, I learned that the greek word for my term is the word "pragma". Pragma is all about patience and compromise and is the most mature type of love. It is easy to love someone when things are going great, but "pragma" love is the ability to love when things are not so great. We have to have the willpower to Stand in Love, no matter what is going on. Standing up for yourself as a Christian does not mean being nasty, mean, rude nor hateful towards others. That's actually the opposite of what I am talking about. But being a Christian is never a thumbs up to allow other people to run over you and treat you less than. Standing in Love, to me, is putting your foot down firmly but in a way that has the other person to know that you still love them, will be patient with them, are willing to compromise and are there for them. But that you're absolutely not there to be ran over, misused or abused.  
    When I encounter people who try to abuse the goodness of my heart, I have to remind myself to pragma: Stand in Love. And then I usually say that they don't know any better. Lol. I used to be one of those people who just accepted anything that others decided to give me because I didn't want trouble. But I learned along this journey called life that people will only treat you the way that you allow them to treat you. Just allowing people to treat you any ole way and accepting it will do more harm to you than it will to them. I learned this through my life experiences. We have to be careful to not become inwardly bitter and resentful towards people all in the name of just taking it and not wanting trouble. We need people in this life and just taking it will have us building up walls and forcing GOD's children to climb, leap over or dig under them to get to us. This can not be and is not how GOD desires us to be with one another. Besides, it is through people that GOD works some of His greatest miracles. So we have to train ourselves to pragma: Stand in Love. This can be a very trying thing for some people, but like anything else in life wealth, a good body, a good marriage, good grades, you have to work for it. And we usually work for those things that we want no matter what we have to go through to get it, so why not this? So Pragma: Stand in Love. 
Unapologetic is me, L.