Friday, March 6, 2015

Dear Younger Me,

    There is just soooooo much that I want to tell you SO LISTEN CLOSELY. Life does not get easier as you get older so stop rushing to be older. Enjoy being a youngster with no responsibilities except for school. And stop playing so much there. You are so smart and school comes so easy to you. Stop taking that for granted. Study hard, plan for college, plan for life. When you get older, education will be everything. Continue to play your sports. Give it your all and be the best that you can be. Your passion is volleyball right? Go to college to be a teacher and become that volleyball coach that you want to be. Wait on the boys. Being in a relationship is not all it looks to be even though it seems like everyone around you is in one. But I guarantee you that you won't find "The One" for a long time after your school years. 
    Also, be nicer to your sisters. Lol. When you get older you're going to want a closer relationship with them, but you may have ruined that by being a butthole to them while you all are younger. They love you, they look up to you. Sure it may seem annoying to you to have them around, but they are not that much younger than you and they are still learning just like you. Love on them and watch how they love on you back. That love that you are missing from your daddy not being there and momma working the way that she do, you might find that they can fill some of that for you. :)  
   I know you respect your momma and you want more of her time and attention, but understand that she is only doing what she knows to do and doing the best at that. You want to hear her say that she loves you, why not be the first to say it to her. You only know bits and pieces of her back ground, but when you find out he totality of her situation, then you'll be more understanding of why she is the way that she is. She loves you and believes that as long as she works 2 and 3 jobs at a time so that you and your sisters never go hungry and have decent clothes on your back, she's doing her absolute best. You'll have kids someday and you'll get it. And do everything with them that you longed for to be done with you.
   You'll get over the pain of what has happened to you against your will. You'll grow stronger in the Lord and begin to understand that people didn't hurt you, the Spirits within them did. Those things happened to you, but don't let them define, shape or mold you nor your worth. Begin now learning how to forgive and let go as hard as it may hurt. This will help you to not be so hard on future people that you cross paths with, but also your husband because you sure do give him the blues sometimes based off your past and the built up unforgiveness in your heart. Lol. 
   Know that everybody that comes into your life, because they are your age, they don't always have your best interest at heart. Don't just open yourself up to everyone, but don't just shut everyone out either. Use your discernment. You know, that little voice in you that tells you if a person or thing is good or bad. Listen to it. It won't steer you wrong and shed the fat. Take more risk. Take full advantage of your youth. Don't be in a rush to grow up. Life is not going anywhere. Live and love like none other. Get involved in your community and don't be so worried about what people may say about you. You'll have that all your life. People will tell lies until the day you die. Learn to brush it off and keep moving forward. Develop a forward moving, goal oriented mentality but let it be age appropriate. Learn to save money and protect your credit. It will be worth more than you understand it to be worth now. You'll need it for more than you know or understand now. 
   Have fun, don't be so serious and guarded all the time. Life is meant to be lived. Your a great person and people will love you. You are beautiful, talented, athletic, smart, polite, creative and a natural organizer. DON'T EVER stop working on improving you. DON'T EVER give up on you. Whenever you get a chance, get comfortable with talking in front of and having conversations with differing people. Expand your horizons and be the best you that you can be. Maximize your potential and again, take risk. Yes you may mess up at times, but learn now how to get back up, dust yourself off and keep it pushing. ENCOURAGE YOURSELF. You can do this. You're built for this. The sky is the limit for you. You can have whatever you want. The world is yours. Take advantage of it, love God, learn to forgive quickly and love and respect yourself better than anyone else can. If you love you, the world won't be as harsh to you as they are trying to be. Walk boldly and with your head held high. No more looking at the pavement, but eyes on the sky. You can, you will, you must. XOXO, your older you.
Unapologetic is me,L. 

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