What do you believe?

     What do you believe? What do you stand for? They say if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. So what do you believe? What do you stand for? In times of adversity, what is that thing that keeps you motivated to keep your head up and moving in a forward direction? If you don't know, then it's time to figure it out. And figure it out fast because life will not stop happening to you. 

    Let me take a minute to tell you at least 12 things of what I believe in and what I stand for.  

I believe that:

1. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are real and lives/works within me.

2. I am God's workmanship/handiwork/masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works. (Ephesians 2:10)

3. He will never leave me nor forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

4. The things that are impossible with people are possible with God. (Luke 18:27)

5. I am blessed because I believe that He will do what He said. (Luke 1:45)

6. If I delight myself in Him that He would give me the desires of my heart. (Proverbs 37:4)

7. If I confess my sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

8. That my God shall supply ALL my needs according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

9. That if I lack wisdom, I can ask my God who gives to all generously and without reproach. (James 1:5)

10. My God is faithful, He will not let me be tempted beyond me ability and that in every temptation, God provides me a way of escape. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

11. That if I seek the Lord, He will answer me and deliver me from my fears. (Psalms 34:4)

12. That whatever I ask for in prayer, if I believe that I have received it, then it is mine. (Mark 11:24)

    These are just a few from my long list of the things that I believe and stand for. In times of doubt, chaos, confusion, trouble, whatever, I pull from my list to strengthen and encourage myself. Did it happen overnight? No. But I got tired of, and here is my truth, waiting for people to help me overcome and no one came to my aid. Or when they came, it was conditional. We can not always wait around for someone else to do it for us because that will not always be the case. Sometimes there will be no one else to do this for us. If you fall, you have to be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep it pushing. Time nor life stops because we may be going through. So again I ask you, what do you believe? Figure it out.
Unapologetic is me, L.

Tattoos: Appropriate or Nah?

   Ok, so as I stated in my profile description, I am a multiple piercing having (even though they are all on my ears lol) tattoo loving Pastor. But this post is about tattoos. To date I have 6 with future plans for more (Yep, I said it). There is and has always been a HUGE debate in the Christian community as to whether tattoos are appropriate or not. I know what the bible says about the "body is a temple of the Holy Spirit" and to "honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) and even Leviticus 19:28 "You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the Lord." (NKJV). I understand what people are saying and all the points. But my point is, don't make us (us tattoo lovers) feel like we broke a commandment and are going to hell for it. I believe that I serve a gracious, loving and forgiving God. The same God that "blots out your sins...... and remembers them no more" (Isaiah 43:25), does the same for me. We need to stop trying to use the bible to make people feel bad about their choices in life. Yes, we are to help our brothers and sisters if we see them stumbling, but no where does God give us the authority to judge one another. One thing my husband says all the time is that we are not allowed to give our OPINIONS, no matter how strong we feel about them,, but the Word and the Word alone.

    I believe tattoos are art. Only one if my tattoos are distasteful to me and embodied how I felt as a person in that time, but I got it at the age of 18. All the rest of them are just fine with me. Everybody expresses themselves in different ways. Next to writing, tattoos are my expression and I see nothing wrong with the way that I choose to express myself. Everybody else can kick rocks with flip flops..... Oh my bad, that is not the "Christian" thing to say. How about, you can take it up with Jesus........ Ok, back to my writing.

   The scripture Leviticus 19:28 actually refers to the bodies being cut in death preparations with pagan symbols. God had already stated that He is to be THE ONLY God that is to be worshipped in any form and prohibited such other worship even in death. None of the tattoos on my body are in worship to a god other than THE God that I have always served, worshipped, studied and preached about. Again, they are MY EXPRESSION of art.  

   The culture that we live in today is so different, have so much going on and there are WAY to many other things that are so much more important and needs our attention than this. The bible also talks about subjects such as women keeping their heads covered and not having sex with family members (incest) or chickens/horses/cows/goats (beastiality, you get it). But I don't see all women with head coverings and not all our animals are safe :( (so sad to say). My tattoos on my exterior have nothing to do with the Holy Spirit in my interior. The Holy Spirit in me with my tattoos is just as alive and strong as the me that would have had no tattoos. I believe that as long as we stay tasteful and dare not defame Him or worship other gods, we are okay. In no shape, form or fashion am I trying to play on God's grace, but I do believe that if my interpretation is wrong, He will forgive me. But tattoos are not my conviction. They may be yours, but please stop condemning others because it is. I make all my decisions these days with my eyes and heart on God. Before you judge the next person, please do the same because "....the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7) and my heart is good.

   So appropriate or nah? What's good for the goose is not good for the gander in this instance.To me it's a matter of opinion, personal interpretation and conviction level.  But I'm good with my decision.

Unapologetic is me, L.

Things I've Learned On This Journey Called Marriage pt.1

"Those" Conversations

   I love sitting with my hubby and having "those" conversations. You know, the ones that because most couples don't have they end up broken up and divorced. It's been an unspoken...... thing in our home that we be open, honest and transparent. We both decided a long time ago that this is it. Divorce is not an option. "Till death do us part" is real for us. So "those" conversations are a must. The "I need more sex because I'm on the verge of cheating" talks and especially the "You hurt me when you did this" conversations. We can't walk around harboring bitterness and resentment. Not if together forever is our destiny and we want to keep it that way. This is where a lot of couples mess up. They are so afraid of hurting one another's feelings that they neglect to have "those" conversations and often times feel misunderstood and mistreated. Well, if you never voiced verbally what you needed or felt anywhere other than in your own head or to your friends, then yes you will most definitely feel this way.

   I know some of you are saying "Well I did that. I voiced my feelings and nothing changed". I'll ask you two things.

1. Did you talk to them or at them?

2. Were you completely honest and looking for a resolution versus conflict?

   There is a difference. Listen to me when I say this......... NOBODY IS GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU IF YOUR TALKING AT THEM INSTEAD OF TO THEM. Let's have a conversation versus a lecture. Your not talking to a child. Even though you may feel like they act childish in some cases, you're still talking to an adult. If you treat a man or woman like a boy or girl, they will act like a boy or girl versus being the man or woman that they are. And just a side note, don't talk at your children either. This will only set them up to be adults who allows other adults to treat them this way until they get tired of it and start lashing out at everybody. Then you sitting around talking about "I don't know where they get that from. Must be from that other side of the family". No that was all you. Anywho!

   People tend to shut down when they feel like they are being lectured to versus having a conversation. I know because I'm one of those people. My husband knows that I will shut down quick when I feel as if I'm being treated like a little girl. Is it right? No. But it's human nature and as much as I try not to do it, it happens. I've seen this happen so much even in counseling people. We have to be respectful of others at all times in order to get some positive results. You want to be respected right? Well, you get what you give out. You reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. All that good stuff. Unless you're a college professor in a lecture hall, save the speeches and melodramatics. It won't solve anything and won't do nothing but make your mouth dry from all that talking.

   Secondly, were you completely honest and looking for a resolution versus more conflict? If you don't enter the "conversation" in the right head space, this won't be pretty. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. You can't withhold a piece or a part because you think they can't handle the real and raw you. If they can't, is this really the one for you. God has graced my husband and I to handle the real about one another. We don't judge or cast down one another because we understand that we are both human and we want "this" to work. We seek resolution at every turn. If we feel ourselves getting heated, we take a break from the issue, go to our corners and have a conference with the Holy Spirit. The enemy is constantly trying to throw daggers at our relationships. And his main tool is deception and dishonesty in order to divide and conquer. He'll make things appear one way when they really aren't. We have to device within ourselves that resolution, as opposed to conflict, is at the forefront of our relationship. If you find yourself constantly looking for more conflict, then this may not be the one that God has for you. True love doesn't produce conflict. If you can look at your mate and want to push their buttons more and more, it may be time to throw in the towel.

   Now there are some people who feel that conflict adds spice to the relationship and they love the making up part. If that floats your boat, that's your business. But don't bring a unwilling participant into this type of twisted mind space. God is not the author of confusion and this is just that. You have to know you and be completely honest with your s.o. Allow them to decide if they want to get on this rollercoaster as opposed to forcing them on it. You may regret forcing them on it. I'm just saying.

   Okay long story short, "those" conversations have to be had. It's an absolute must. Healthy and honest dialogue is necessary for a long lasting and fulfilling relationship. Also let your children see you both being conflict resolution oriented. Kids learn by watching and through experience. Let them see you talk it out like two mature human beings. Conflict is evident, resolution is a choice. If it can't be done then that, my friend, is not the one.

Unapologetic is me, L.